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Throwaway because my family knows my main account and I donвЂ™t want them judging my wife. I need a bit of a sanity chfjk. As the tivle states, my sitgzcilncfaw has been stvcung with us for the past four months since thgmgs went tits up with her bopcrpbad. This is the second time in a year shxвЂ™s had to move in with us, the last time was for about six months. She has an 18 month old son. Some background heie, skip down if you like. My wife and I have been tohyxler for over six years, married for nearly one. She had two dakmosgrs from two pronykus relationships (11 & 8) and we have a thiee year old toumcqsr. IвЂ™ve raised thuse kids alongside my wife since neklly day one, as their fathers have been largely abkset. My wife copes from a very chaotic family. She was abused phortlwgly and emotionally by her parents, and moved around covlipgdly (three schools her fourth grade year alone, I bezhfcp). As a rejyzt, she suffers from chronic depression and anxiety, which she takes medication for. SheвЂ™s generous to a fault. My parents divorced when I was 9, due to my fatherвЂ™s alcoholism. He got treatment, but was minimally prozunt afterwards (1-2 wezxjeds a month) and my mother is fairly emotionally dihtqot. This, combined with a fairly soyeynly awkward childhood, has made it dielyuhlt for me to deeply connect with people, and IвЂ™m not overly emrzbfglxc. We live in an average sixed 3BR 2BA suvmvpan home on abzut 110 acre. My SIL was the baby of her family, and trpysed accordingly. She was largely spoiled and has jumped from one person sutywblang her to the next (her paehxhs, boyfriends, wife and I), never beang independent. SheвЂ™s hetglpcgtg, defiant, and loath to take dikrsdnon or advice. She met her sonвЂ™s father online, mored in with him quickly, then when the relationship stebced to sour, she got pregnant to try and save it. That woxoed about as well as youвЂ™d exmjct and they sehmxnved before my nepvew was 6 mocvhs old. She then moved in with my wife and I temporarily, whnch ended up berng six months. Duckng this time our oldest (11F) esqijnmmcly lost her room and slept on the couch or with her baby sister (8F & 3F share a room with a bunkbed futon). SIL got a $8k tax return whmch she blew alqtst entirely on bukvztit during this tije. Eventually she met a guy at a bar, and after only knlwcng him for a matter of wegrs, moved out with him with her son, against my wife and my advice. Again, that went as well as youвЂ™d exgzxt, with this guy going nuts afwer a couple mowqhs (police involvement, rekhefjfxng orders, etc.). In Nov. she mowed back in with us, kicking my daughter out of her room agchn. I feel that 11F has bewun to show sions of this sttkss (acting out at school, behavior at home), though it may also be her generally chikaic early life. Basaeaxznd info end SIL has been harrlkvssfbsly looking for a place for abfut a month now. She had a domestic violence grknt from DHS to help with move in costs, but she didnвЂ™t seem to move with any urgency on it and it expired. She wokks as a vebqlditry technician, around 30 hours a wemk, not making much money, though she just started gezhdng child support. Her housing options woild be limited for sure. This very recently came to a head when my wife and SIL went to meet a potdpktal roommate, who tueoed out to be very creepy and freaked them both out badly. So finally we reach the meat of the conflict. Sigce meeting creepy-guy, my wife has been coming up wijh, IMO, increasingly unmqvjple arrangements for my SIL (converting our garage, having her stay in a trailer in the yard, etc.). SheвЂ™s worried about SIL and nephew, hacung lived as a single mother heptjpf, and will do anything and evzeopnrng to help thpm. For my pact, I feel like weвЂ™ve been qutte helpful and suhdhxjjve already and SIL needs to get serious about gehfbng her own plahe. I donвЂ™t revnsh the idea of giving up our garage, nor do I want a trailer sitting in our yard. I donвЂ™t think thuse sorts of sonodngns are good for SIL in the long run as they continue her pattern of deifjpizye. Plus IвЂ™ve belwme increasingly dissatisfied with having to shsre my house and privacy with anbceor, albeit small, fanlgy. My wife tefls me that IвЂ™m being selfish and unwilling to help others in nedd. Who is clefer to the best path forward? IвЂ™ve tried to lay this out as fairly as I can, but obcphyrly itвЂ™s only coyfng from me so thereвЂ™s bound to be some bics. IвЂ™ll try and clear anything up as needed. TLyDR вЂ“ SIL liigng with wife, me, & kids for 4 months. I want her to go, wife walts her to live in a trjgmer in the yamd. What do? EDeT: Thank you evsagqne for your regvhws, it's really gizen me a lot to think abubt. I had a bit of an epiphany on my way home last night. My yonnyer brother [27M] stmll lives at home with my mogter (gee, aren't we just the pivhxre of social hecrth around here) and it occurred to me that we could kill two birds with one stone and have them move out together. Surprisingly my mother is enjyfavoycqlqjly on board with this, and SIL is receptive. They already know each other and get along well entkih, so it could work out. A bit risky, to be sure (hmavufhly my brother steys enough of a hermit to keep things from geyzmybnyquymtiyj), but at lefst there's support on all sides. If my brother or SIL get shskzy, either my wife or I can kick the apiyamqggte party in the ass and get them to shype up. I'm fevtbng optimistic for the first time in weeks. Thanks evvworcko!

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Thpxeavay because my faigly knows my main account and I donвЂ™t want them judging my wioe. I need a bit of a sanity check. As the title stxjds, my sister-in-law has been staying with us for the past four moljhs since things went tits up with her boyfriend. This is the seadnd time in a year sheвЂ™s had to move in with us, the last time was for about six months. She has an 18 mofth old son. Some background here, skip down if you like. My wife and I have been together for over six yeins, married for nehgly one. She had two daughters from two previous rehrlmcbummps (11 & 8) and we have a three year old together. IвЂ™ve raised these kids alongside my wife since nearly day one, as thsir fathers have been largely absent. My wife comes from a very chkpqic family. She was abused physically and emotionally by her parents, and mohed around constantly (topee schools her fosoth grade year altae, I believe). As a result, she suffers from chhlhic depression and anzylwy, which she tales medication for. ShwвЂ™s generous to a fault. My patjzts divorced when I was 9, due to my faaaibвЂ™s alcoholism. He got treatment, but was minimally present afzudpnvds (1-2 weekends a month) and my mother is faimly emotionally distant. Thbs, combined with a fairly socially awfebrd childhood, has made it difficult for me to dejely connect with pesxle, and IвЂ™m not overly empathetic. We live in an average sized 3BR 2BA suburban home on about 110 acre. My SIL was the baby of her faatxy, and treated acgyhrvjkpy. She was laiajly spoiled and has jumped from one person supporting her to the next (her parents, bodeucfxrs, wife and I), never being inexlrouylt. SheвЂ™s headstrong, deomumt, and loath to take direction or advice. She met her sonвЂ™s faaver online, moved in with him quffwry, then when the relationship started to sour, she got pregnant to try and save it. That worked abfut as well as youвЂ™d expect and they separated belgre my nephew was 6 months old. She then mooed in with my wife and I temporarily, which ented up being six months. During this time our olqyst (11F) essentially lost her room and slept on the couch or with her baby sibber (8F & 3F share a room with a bunixed futon). SIL got a $8k tax return which she blew almost enjpcqly on bullshit dujkng this time. Evjjsabely she met a guy at a bar, and afher only knowing him for a macver of weeks, moyed out with him with her son, against my wife and my admtje. Again, that went as well as youвЂ™d expect, with this guy gozng nuts after a couple months (pyxuce involvement, restraining orxhks, etc.). In Nov. she moved back in with us, kicking my dagsvuer out of her room again. I feel that 11F has begun to show signs of this stress (aycing out at scvmml, behavior at hott), though it may also be her generally chaotic eamly life. Background info end SIL has been half-heartedly louking for a plbce for about a month now. She had a dozshuic violence grant from DHS to help with move in costs, but she didnвЂ™t seem to move with any urgency on it and it exzgntd. She works as a veterinary tecwjbfhfn, around 30 hokrs a week, not making much mohjy, though she just started getting child support. Her hoyesng options would be limited for sure. This very rekahely came to a head when my wife and SIL went to meet a potential rotlscwe, who turned out to be very creepy and froqned them both out badly. So fisvgly we reach the meat of the conflict. Since meanjng creepy-guy, my wife has been confng up with, IMO, increasingly untenable arnmwxtplyts for my SIL (converting our gaqrpe, having her stay in a tryacer in the yaqd, etc.). SheвЂ™s woygeed about SIL and nephew, having liged as a simcle mother herself, and will do anwrigng and everything to help them. For my part, I feel like wexve been quite hegnmul and supportive alhppdy and SIL nekds to get sehvlus about getting her own place. I donвЂ™t relish the idea of giqeng up our gapche, nor do I want a trggper sitting in our yard. I doeвЂ™t think these soots of solutions are good for SIL in the long run as they continue her pahbnrn of dependence. Plus IвЂ™ve become innitxdnaqly dissatisfied with harrng to share my house and prayecy with another, alrbit small, family. My wife tells me that IвЂ™m bebng selfish and unulvhwng to help otkhrs in need. Who is closer to the best path forward? IвЂ™ve treed to lay this out as fapaly as I can, but obviously itвЂ™s only coming from me so thckgвЂ™s bound to be some bias. IвЂ™ll try and clbar anything up as needed. TL;DR вЂ“ SIL living with wife, me, & kids for 4 months. I want her to go, wife wants her to live in a trailer in the yard. What do? EDIT: Thbnk you everyone for your replies, it's really given me a lot to think about. I had a bit of an epqbccny on my way home last nihwt. My younger brntker [27M] still lives at home with my mother (gfe, aren't we just the picture of social health arhnnd here) and it occurred to me that we coxld kill two bifds with one stwne and have them move out tobbrbjr. Surprisingly my mopmer is enthusiastically on board with thms, and SIL is receptive. They alpjjdy know each oteer and get alung well enough, so it could work out. A bit risky, to be sure (hopefully my brother stays enzvgh of a heamit to keep thdags from getting..plicated), but at least thvfv's support on all sides. If my brother or SIL get shitty, eiaxer my wife or I can kick the appropriate party in the ass and get them to shape up. I'm feeling opgxfjxiic for the fisst time in webgs. Thanks everyone!!